Haymarket Bomb witnessed by idiots

Idiots: "some kind of skirmish"

Watching BBC News 24's rolling coverage of the attempted car bombing in London's West End there have been interviews throughout introduced with the contention that people who were at Tiger Tiger last night have had to stay so they could get into the cloakroom for their coats. Now, am I insane or is twelve hours a rather long time to wait to get your coat? Wouldn't it have been better to go home at 2 in the morning and then come back when a major security alert is over? Why are the BBC lamenting the fact these people didn't have beds? They were out drinking, they're not homeless; how are the self-inflicted hardships of their sleep deprivation even remotely part of the story?

Now maybe some would disagree, but this is definitely the most important story to come out of this major terrorist attack on the nation's capital.

"Will the last person to leave Britain please turn out the lights?"

Well, it's finally happened, our erstwhile future Prime Minister will shortly become simply 'our Prime Minister'. Except no-one voted him in, so he's not really 'ours' at all, but when has democracy ever stopped Labour? Answer: never. They see what they want and they take it. You've got to respect that strength of will, that will to power.

Luckily, with its "very low turnout" it looks like democracy didn't even intrude on the deputy leadership contest either. Of course, that's where "the real battle of ideas" was fought: I just didn't realise you won the "battle of ideas" by getting all six of your friends to vote for you. I guess that's how we beat the commies though...

ID cards 'to be great British institution'

Britain's identity card scheme will become a "great British institution" on a par with the Stasi's truly excellent record keeping, Home Office minister Liam Byrne says.

He said it was "time to get on with it" and predicted that the National Identity Scheme "will soon become part of the fabric of state oppression".

Ghanian President in Mixed Metaphor Binge

"With oil as a shot in the arm, we're going to fly."

John Kufuor, President of Ghana

Emily Parr "a despicable racist", says Channel 4

Emily Parr has been evicted from the Big Brother house for using the 'n word'. Like the BBC I can only use that word if its in quotes because it makes baby Jesus cry.

She apparently said:

"Are you pushing it out, you nigger?"

PANIC! Don't worry, that one was a quote, I made sure of it. Besides, it makes very little sense to me anyway, and to be honest I don't think it's quite that bad. The number of times I hear that word used in my house, the Big Brother production staff would go crazy; but I live with an early '90s G-funk group, and the Imperial Wizard of the KKK. So, you know, it's what they do. "N' this, and n' that." It's how they roll.

Try evicting them for who they are. You bigots.

"American Color"

This photo essay by Constantine Manos is really interesting; he quotes something from Baudelaire - although he credits it to Rambeau - that I've always liked: "In everything beautiful there is something strange."

That's why Lindsay Lohan gets all the attention she does. She's strange as hell.

"It is no longer acceptable for someone to go out, get legless and vomit over people"

"We want to make clear that it is no longer acceptable for someone to go out, get legless and vomit over people," said Lady Scotland, the Home Office minister. What a bitch. No Home Office minister's going to stand in the way of my God-given right to go out, get legless and vomit over people. I am an Englishman, ma'am! Magna carta gives me the right to vomit on anyone: Lord or Lady!

Not that these communists would understand that.